This post relates to my hypocritical perception of SoM fluffies and my need to learn from my negative and hypocritical views.
I have posted a rather distaste in the fluffs that join the website. I have been making many realizations about the need to question if this path is healthy for me or not, and I let my selfish ideas pour out without thinking of other lives.
I've been saying that we should try to eliminate the fluffies and fluff work from SoM altogether. I did not consider other peoples' situations and I only allowed myself to think that to cover up my own flaws and embarrassment. Let me admit: I was one of those kids that believed in the media witch and magick. I lingered into fantastical ideas for a age that one would let go of those ideas way earlier. But, I did have a fascination with witchcraft all my life. I remember I'd collect some real information. I'd read and I'd not understand what it was all saying. Now, I decided to do a search of my thirteen-year-old profile on this site. What I saw was remarkably discouraging. I was posting such ideas here in 2010. I felt horrible about myself, but then I realized something. Back then, my mind knew fantasy was not real, but that I used fantasy as a way of escapism at the time of my early discoveries of witchcraft. When I got older and confided in a friend who showed me this path at its realest, I had a "roundabout" moment and my genuine interest in witchcraft allowed me to find the true path. I've been learning ever since.
I was wrong for all the things I said. I'm sorry if I offended anyone I talked to. I realize that I built up a wall to block out those bad feelings. I always felt like roundabout fluffies weren't meant for this path, but I think I'm wrong. Some fluffies have great potential in this path. We all start out as fluffies, anyway. The media is what introduces us to Paganism as kids. I shouldn't be ashamed.
As far as my situation goes, I question if I maybe used the true path as a way of escapism from my life problems. But then I talked to my Pagan relative, and she made me realize that it was okay to have been a fluffy at a time. But then she made me realize that every belief system holds the "play pretend" concept since we don't know for sure what's waiting for us. So, now I question if my real practice transitioned into an unhealthy escape pattern, but that's up to me in the end. Again, I apologize that I was being a hypocrite. Any perspective on my situation as well?